Marriage counseling, couples therapy in Villeneuve-sur-Lot
Agen, Marmande and Bordeaux
Why and when to go see a marriage counselor?
Would you like to call on a marriage counselor in Villeneuve-sur-Lot, Agen or Marmande? Contact me. Disputes, sexual apathy, resentment, silences ... They alternate reproaches that go back ten years and have the feeling of being together only to revolve relentlessly around the same sterile debates and the same impossibilities. To get out of camera, which they both agree to find unbearable, they seem to have only two solutions: to separate or find the courage to call for help. Saying things to each other in front of a professional is essential: resentments subside, which no longer leads to the same response from the spouse. We can listen to each other again and get out of the logic of war. For the bad couple, indeed, the situation is clear: each thinks that the other is the obvious cause of all the problems and that they must change.
What is a marriage and family counselor?
The marriage and family counselor has training recognized by the State. It is the only one to be reimbursed by certain mutuals. He usually has training in psychology or psychopathology and sexology.
Consider and accept our differences
One of the first steps is to get out of this simplistic view: the problem is not the other but lies in the relationship, the two members are therefore involved and jointly responsible. The therapist helps to admit that the other has the right to be different.
A fragile balance
So jealousy flatters us at first, then turns into a prison; his nonconformity amuses us, until the day he is criticized for his lack of seriousness. A number of fusional couples thus find themselves in difficulty: it suffices for events to arise (birth, illness, etc.) for the fragile balance to collapse.
Sexuality
Learn to communicate your desires and fears
All couples have sexual problems, and it is often difficult to talk about them because we are so afraid of hurting, making guilty, or even shocking our partner. Problems of frigidity, impotence, anorgasmia ... are generally the result of psychological blockages. A marriage counselor is able to help you "reconnect" with the other and understand the mechanisms of dysfunction of your sexual disorders.
Don't wait to talk about it!
As soon as a major problem arises, it should be talked about to prevent it from becoming encysted. It's never too late in life! We can help them to relearn how to live together differently. Consulting is always positive and constructive, but "consulting a marriage counselor" does not mean taking out a sort of "comprehensive insurance" guaranteeing the success of the union. We are not miracle workers. The therapy does not always prevent separation, but if it intervenes anyway, it will go better, without the desire to hurt the other, often through the child, continuing. Putting words on problems, feelings, resentments, suffering lowers the level of anxiety and aggression. In a few months of consultations, marriage counseling can sometimes resolve the crisis. The threat of separation is lifted, the situation has become livable again. "It allows us to wait for the evolution of the couple, specifies the therapist. Because it is not because we finish the interviews that the work stops. We must continue to be able to put things into perspective, to take a step back from our emotions, to think at the same time as one feels. "
If the other does not want to go, can we consult alone?
Couples therapy requires a priori the presence of both spouses. But if one of the two is not ready for the process, nothing prevents his partner from making an appointment with a marriage therapist to talk about his relationship. There can already be positive effects. Because the goal of therapy is not to change the other, but to change the relationship. And, as soon as one is different in the couple, the relationship shifts.
If there is separation, is it necessary to consult?
The separations take place most of the time in the suffering, the marriage counselor will help you to pacify a separation and to "digest" it. He will guide you to preserve the well-being of children and to make the right decisions regarding family unity and well-being. Also discover my services in sexology.
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